The dragon flew up to the ceiling of the cage, and let out an enormous poo-wind that singed the tips of the boy’s hair and left stains on his armor. The dragon laughed and laughed. It was going to fart the boy to death. Sir Todd was no help. He was in the corner, picking up the pieces of his penis that had been blasted apart by the first round of bottom burps.

Left alone with his sword and thin armor, the boy stood bravely. He had done this before. Last year, when Sir Todd sat on a sleeping dragon’s nostril and had his bottom-hole banjaxed, the boy was able to fight on alone and spear the dragon in his tender bits with a lance.

This dragon was different. Bigger, faster, smellier. It filled the whole cave with it’s massive stink, and the boy could barely breathe in the thick air.

“You’ve got a lotta fuckin’ nerve comin’ into me cave, boy,” shouted the dragon. “Your gas will fill the kingdom after I eat you up and fart you out again!”

Behind the dragon the boy could see Princess Margaret Shatksin the Nude. Although chained to a pole, she appeared be doing some sort of seductive dance, and the boy was unsure for who it was intended. The dragon didn’t like the princess, and hadn’t eaten her yet because he thought he would get a disease.

The boy took a few charges with his sword, but the dragon dodged them easily.

“You can do it, boy,” said Princess Margaret as she slid down the pole. “The pole is you!”

The boy took a few more stabs, each time getting closer and closer to cutting through the tough skin of the dragon. The dragon kept on laughing. Sir Todd was still blindly searching for his testicles in the cave corner. Just last week he had them bitten in two by an ogre, whose teeth mashed his berry-pouch like grain in a gristmill.

“Please do not eat me Meester Dragon. I probably taste like gaaaaarlic and peppppppers!” said one of the Italian brothers who were held captive by the dragon. “My skin is not nice and soft like a-pizza –dough. It is hairy, like a bear!”

“Eet’s true Senor. We were eaten once beeeefore and we were speet out like the meeserable bas-tards we are!” said the other brother. “You will choke on my chest’hair, I promise!”

While the Italian brothers distracted the dragon, the boy ran in and skewered the dragon through its eye. He quickly regrouped and stabbed the other eye. The blind dragon was defenseless, and the boy was easily able to chop off its head.

Princess Maggie, hanging upside down with her legs wrapped around the pole, said “Hurry up and let me down. These Italian boys’ dough is starting to rise and I’m not about to knead it.”