In my town there is a big pirate ship that was once used by pirates for pirating in the ocean. It’s old and rickety and it smells like rotten feet and it creaks like Grandpa when he walks. It’s down in the harbor where the water is all green and foamy like the wet patch in the backyard. The ship is called the Rising Wind.

We took a school trip to see the pirate ship and learn about the ways of pirates and all the pirating they did. Pirates were scurvy dogs that wore eye patches and peg legs. They smoked cheese and ate limes and slept with coconuts in their beds instead of pillows. My brother Todd tried to open a coconut with a hammer one time and he missed and split his coconuts open and a bunch of milk came out all over the place. He said “arghhhh” like a pirate and had to be sewn up like a sock monkey.

Juan and his little brother Estaban were on the trip and they said that some of their relatives are still pirates but they don’t dress like women. They use automatic weapons instead of swords like old pirates did. Old pirates used doubloons for money and used sailboats. My brother Todd tried to raise the sail of the pirate ship and got his peter pangus caught in the rigging. He said “Ahoy” like a pirate and it smelled like when Daddy burned tires in the backyard.

The guide at the pirate ship told us that pirates used to fight against other boats with cannons and muskets. The cannons on the ship were very heavy and would blow holes in the sides of other boats. One time my brother Todd accidentally swallowed a musket ball and when it came out it blew out his poo-hole. It looked like a snake eating an egg in reverse and he said “Argg, me booty” like a pirate.

The pirate ship was lots of fun and I liked to see the ocean and ship. At the gift shop I bought an eye patch so I could play pirate with my friends. Margaret Shatskin bought a peg leg but I haven’t seen her wearing it yet. She said she has to wash it first.