Thursday, June 12, 2003
At The Zoo
by Timothy B. Tanglefrappe, 8
On Thursday we all went to the Zoo. We had to ride in the car for a long time to get there and mom and dad fought the whole time. Mom said that dad was in trouble for talking to the hooker last night at the Burger King. I don't remember my dad talking to a hooker, but he was talking to Mrs. Shatskin and she was giving dad a special massage.
Once we got to the zoo we went right in and bought peanuts. That's my favorite part of the zoo because mom won't let me eat peanuts at home because I'm allergic, but for some reason I get to eat them at the zoo. My brother Todd makes fun of me when my tongue swells up but I don't say anything because his penis is always broken.
I wanted to go to the reptile house to see all the snakes and lizards. Snakes eat grasshoppers and they do the work of the devil. Sometimes snakes can talk and I even once saw a snake riding a bicycle. My brother Todd was riding his bicycle once and he ran over a snake. It got twisted in his spokes so his bike flipped over. He landed on the bike and his special worm got twisted in the spokes too. He rolled over and over and when he stopped his wangle looked like a plum. It was all purple and bulgy. That's why mom won't let me leave the house without a belt because she's afraid I'll get my tingle finger stuck in something.
I also wanted to see the monkey house. Monkeys are crazy. They have hair all over their bodies and they eat marshmallows in the jungle. Marshmallows grow on trees like apples and the monkeys pick them down and throw them at each other before they eat them. They also throw brownies before they eat them. They have monkey ovens way up in the trees where they bake the brownies. One of the monkeys looked like he had a red hot poker coming out of his lap, and he was chasing one of the girl monkeys around with it. She didn't want to get burnt and when he finally caught her it sounded like when mom put a cigarette out on kitty's tail. The monkey got burnt really bad.
At the end of the day we went to see the penguins. Penguins are from the moon. That's why they have black and white coats and eat fish all the time. The moon is loaded with good fish to eat, and lots of penguins. My brother Todd tried to go to the moon one time. He built a rocket in the backyard out of cardboard tubes, bird's nests, and gasoline. When he lit the fuse the rocket exploded in a big fireball and torched Todd's testicle bag and slinky. Afterward it looked like that dead frog that we found on the sidewalk, and he had to pee into a bag.
I liked the zoo. It was a cool time. My favorite part was the elephant. There was a crazy clown who ran around and scooped up all the brownies afterwards. The elephant has a secret oven inside that's baking brownies all the time. That clown is lucky. He brings the brownies over the monkey house for their afternoon tea party with cigarettes.
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by Timothy B. Tanglefrappe, 8
On Thursday we all went to the Zoo. We had to ride in the car for a long time to get there and mom and dad fought the whole time. Mom said that dad was in trouble for talking to the hooker last night at the Burger King. I don't remember my dad talking to a hooker, but he was talking to Mrs. Shatskin and she was giving dad a special massage.
Once we got to the zoo we went right in and bought peanuts. That's my favorite part of the zoo because mom won't let me eat peanuts at home because I'm allergic, but for some reason I get to eat them at the zoo. My brother Todd makes fun of me when my tongue swells up but I don't say anything because his penis is always broken.
I wanted to go to the reptile house to see all the snakes and lizards. Snakes eat grasshoppers and they do the work of the devil. Sometimes snakes can talk and I even once saw a snake riding a bicycle. My brother Todd was riding his bicycle once and he ran over a snake. It got twisted in his spokes so his bike flipped over. He landed on the bike and his special worm got twisted in the spokes too. He rolled over and over and when he stopped his wangle looked like a plum. It was all purple and bulgy. That's why mom won't let me leave the house without a belt because she's afraid I'll get my tingle finger stuck in something.
I also wanted to see the monkey house. Monkeys are crazy. They have hair all over their bodies and they eat marshmallows in the jungle. Marshmallows grow on trees like apples and the monkeys pick them down and throw them at each other before they eat them. They also throw brownies before they eat them. They have monkey ovens way up in the trees where they bake the brownies. One of the monkeys looked like he had a red hot poker coming out of his lap, and he was chasing one of the girl monkeys around with it. She didn't want to get burnt and when he finally caught her it sounded like when mom put a cigarette out on kitty's tail. The monkey got burnt really bad.
At the end of the day we went to see the penguins. Penguins are from the moon. That's why they have black and white coats and eat fish all the time. The moon is loaded with good fish to eat, and lots of penguins. My brother Todd tried to go to the moon one time. He built a rocket in the backyard out of cardboard tubes, bird's nests, and gasoline. When he lit the fuse the rocket exploded in a big fireball and torched Todd's testicle bag and slinky. Afterward it looked like that dead frog that we found on the sidewalk, and he had to pee into a bag.
I liked the zoo. It was a cool time. My favorite part was the elephant. There was a crazy clown who ran around and scooped up all the brownies afterwards. The elephant has a secret oven inside that's baking brownies all the time. That clown is lucky. He brings the brownies over the monkey house for their afternoon tea party with cigarettes.
